You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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