was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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