either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
