talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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