none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
