I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
