Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
