Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
