My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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