Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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