i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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