? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize