ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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