I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
party gras won. party gras always wins.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
