38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
