Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
