end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Me too!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
