I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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