and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
