Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
