her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
