You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
