I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We left the knife in your bed.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize