Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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