i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
