i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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