Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
