She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I just sharted jello shots
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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