Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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