So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
