dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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