Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize