I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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