have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize