Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
