her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
