Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
