Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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