it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's shark week go big or go home
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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