I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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