garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
