Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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