just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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