Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
