My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
