we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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