i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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