Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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