My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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