You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
