Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
