Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
