Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
