Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
