he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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