I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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