Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
cat food counts as protein by the way
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We just shotgunned beers for America
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
