so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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