How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You work out of a Hotel?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
