and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
